Greetings! We are the Magnolia Maids of Bienville, Alabama. You may have heard of us? We are high school seniors who wear antebellum dresses just like Scarlett O’Hara did, and we proudly represent our fine city at events around our state, the country, and the world!

Anyway, we are writing first to say CONGRATULATIONS!!! You are the only singer to have five top ten hits off one album since Michael Jackson’s Thriller? You rule! Go, girl power! WE LOVE YOU! We are SUCH big fans of “Teenage Dream”! In fact, as Bienville’s finest, we are LIVING IT!

That being said, we are writing today because we have some concerns about your latest hit, “Last Friday Night.” For days we were humming it in etiquette class, belting out the chorus –“Last Friday Night, yeah we danced on tabletops, and we took too many shots” – while practicing our curtseys. Then we started paying attention to the words and realized what the song is about, and, well, we have some questions for you about what all happened:

What concerns us the most, Katie, is that you want to “do it all again, do it all again” this Friday night. And that’s why we’re writing. See, our educational outreach project this year is TAAABU, a.k.a. Teens Against Alcohol ABUse, and we have been learning SOOOOOOO much about binge drinking, drunk driving, and alcohol poisoning. Frankly, we’re just an itsy bit concerned that since last Friday night is all “a blacked out blur”, you may have a little problem.

Please, please don’t hurt yourself or anyone else! If you contact us at southernbellehell@gmail.com, we will gladly help you get back on track so that you can continue to be the super mega star you are and entertain the world far into the distant future! And not from prison or rehab!

Yours in Magnolia Love,

The Magnolia Maids of Bienville, Alabama:
Jane Fontaine Ventouras, Magnolia Queen
Brandi Lyn Corey, First Lady in Waiting
Ashley LaFleur, Second Lady in Waiting
Mallory Ross, Maid
Zara Alexander, Maid
Caroline Upton, Alternate

NOTE: This letter officially brought to you by Crickett Rumley, author of Never Sit Down in a Hoopskirt and Other Things I Learned in Southern Belle Hell.
www.crickettrumley.com

Also gorgeous? The Decatur Book Festival! I must admit it occurred during the HOT-lanta portion of the week, but how thrilled was I to see so many readers – especially teens—excited about the word? Readers ran around with backpacks and rolling luggage filled with books to get signed. I met a mother who had brought her daughter down from northern Canada because she was an avid reader, and the mom wanted to keep her interest alive and well. The line of fans waiting for Libba Bray and Stephanie Perkins to sign their books was off the hook – or at least out the door! And I talked to three girls in magical dresses and funky hats who were having the weekend of their lives flitting between the Book Festival and Dragon Con, home of all fantasy-lovers. How fun!

In other news, Dana Barrett of the Midtown Review blog and podcast hosted a wonderful panel with dancer/writer Meg Howrey and Jesmyn Ward, who has a novel hot off the presses about a Mississippi family in the days before Katrina hits. The “Real Girl Conversation about Writing Real Girl Books” was stupendous. It was as if these great YA writers were sitting on a porch swing drinking sweet tea and chatting about their writing – off the cuff, personal, and fun. Afterwards I met festival programmer Terra Elan McVoy who did a terrific job of the whole thing, if you ask me!

The highlight of the week, however, was meeting the ladies of the Vanity Fair photograph. Now for those of you who know me well, you know I’ve been drooling over the article “Belles, Books and Candor” (about Atlanta’s talented pool of lady writers) since it was published in February 2011. When I say drooling, I mean studying the picture and thinking “Everybody looks so pretty! What magnificent dresses! Can I get my hair to do that? Those authoresses seem so successful! They must lead the most fabulous of lives! Will I ever be able to live in an historic mansion like the one they’re posed in front of?” That king of drooling.

And I must have been in the right place at the right time because I ended up meeting four of the authors in the picture at the Book Festival! Jessica Handler, Susan Rebecca White and Joshilyn Jackson were all involved in Ian Belknap’s hysterically entertaining Write Club write-off. Then I ran into Natasha Trethaway at an art installation where attendees could write the name of their favorite books on wallpaper made to look like books on library shelves.

So, it may have been HOT HOT HOT those days in Decatur, but it was so inspiring to see that reading is alive and well and to meet those lovely authoresses live and in person. Last but not least a big shout-out to the bookstores and book people I met along the way: to Decatur’s Little Shop of Stories, Blue Elephant Books and Eagle Eye Books, and to the folks at the Barnes and Noble’s around the greater Atlanta area: Wil Ennis, Dan Boon, Gabriel Haggray and Fran Wallace.

Thanks, Atlanta. I’ll be back to visit soon!

I’ve got a couple of book events planned, so come on down and say hello if you can:
*Friday, July 15, Bienville Books in Mobile at 4 PM.
*Wednesday, July 20, 12 noon, Luncheon and Talk at Aurora’s in Fairhope. This is a ticketed event sponsored by Page and Palette bookstore (please see www.pageandpalette.com to buy tickets). $19 for lunch and a signed copy of the book.
*Wednesday, July 20, 2 PM. Signing at Page and Palette in Fairhope. Perfect for those who can’t make the ticketed luncheon event.

In the meantime, you can also check out this lovely article that appeared in Sunday’s Mobile Press-Register. Many thanks to reporter Karen Spaulding and editor Sally Pearsall Ericson.

Zev’s Silent Movie (or Crickett at book signing)

So there I was, already feeling a big, warm, happy hug from the universe, when yesterday I walked into my favorite local bookstore, Vroman’s in Pasadena. I was having a chat with Regina at the information desk (I was actually looking for several books to give as gifts), when I happened to mention that my book had just gotten published. She busily typed into her computer, then looked up at me and said, “We have it.”

WHAT!?!?!? They have it? They HAVE it! They haaaavvvve it.

It’s so funny, y’all. In this world now dominated by the web, I had been so focused on internet activity that I had forgotten that books traditionally have been sold in, uh, bookstores! Duh!

I dashed upstairs to the Young Adult/children’s section, and yes, there it was! Cute Southern Belle peaking out from the spine of the cover. At my favorite bookstore. Now if that isn’t the definition of Southern Belle heaven, I don’t know what is!

That’s when it hit me – I really did write a book. People are reading it. People who aren’t necessarily my friends and family. People I’ve never met. Wow.

So hello, readers I’ve never met! A super special shout-out to those of you who are reading the novel because you saw it on a bookshelf, or read a review, or heard about it from a friend, or stole it from your cousin DeeDee while she wasn’t looking. I hope you enjoy it, and thank YOU for your support!

Please do drop me a line, or come visit with me at an upcoming book event. I’ll be in Washington, NC, this Friday at I Can’t Believe It’s a Bookstore. 5 PM. Would love to see you!

Cheers,
Crickett

P.S. I have such talented friends! Check out the little movie my friend Zev Berman made at the booking signing at Gail Lerner’s house. I sure do love that silent film style! Hear that projector running? Best sound ever!

If you’re reading this, then you’re experiencing the official launch of my website. Thanks for stopping by. I’m so glad you’re here!

My talented designer – also known as my sister Vail – and I have been having a ball creating things to keep you informed and entertained about my new novel, Never Sit Down in a Hoopskirt and Other Things I Learned in Southern Belle Hell.

How about a quick tour? First, I suggest you watch Never Sit Down in a Hoopskirt, the book trailer, and see for yourself where the idea for the title came from. Then go read about the book and browse through the reviews that are coming in. Under About Me, you will find stuff, well…about me. Under Fun Stuff, you’ll find some of the books that inspired me the most and links to my favorite websites. And don’t forget to stop by the Southern Belle Hell Forum to see my definition of Southern Belle Hell and to lodge your own tales about its sizzling flames!

Before I go, a big shout out to all the wonderful people who have been involved with the website: my talented sister Vail Rumley, for her beautiful design, to Rachel McIntire for the fleur-de-lis art work, to Marilena Peretti for the gorgeous belle on the book cover, and to Oliver Joliffe and Carolyn Kund for their consultations and inspiration. Couldn’t have done it without y’all!

Have fun!
Cheers,
Crickett

Seventeen-year-old Jane Fontaine Ventouras begrudgingly moves back to Bienville, Alabama, after being kicked out of thirteen boarding schools. Jane is a girl with issues: her mother died of ALS, her father has checked out, and she has never forgotten Luke Churchville, the boy she was caught kissing when her father sent her away. As a way to rehabilitate Jane, her grandmother convinces her to try out for the Magnolia Maid pageant. It should be every southern girl’s dream to wear a $7,000 antebellum dress and serve as “Bienville’s ambassadress to the world,” but Jane is the anti-belle who lacks all grace and femininity. Southern pandemonium erupts when the judges diversify the sixtieth court and choose unseemly Jane and a few other unconventional finalists, including the first African American maid. Jane is an apathetic maid until the head advisor, unhappy about the ill-advised selection process, asks her to quit, igniting Jane’s combative nature. She decides to fight fire with fire by undergoing a Southern Belle makeover and becoming the most perfect Magnolia Maid that ever existed. This fun and fast-paced book reads like a Reese Witherspoon movie, complete with Southern drawl, angst-filled romance, and happy ending. While both cliche and predictable, it easily engages readers who will root for Jane. By the end of the book, Jane drops her tough girl facade and productively deals with her issues. Themes like standing up for what you believe in, being true to yourself, and working as a team resonate. It contains some adult language and underage drinking, but nothing too mature for the middle school crowd. Reviewer: Sarah Cofer