“I hate to say it, y’all, but I am possibly the world’s WORST Southern Belle…”
Expelled from thirteen boarding schools in the past five years, seventeen-year-old Jane Fontaine Ventouras is returning to her Southern roots, and the small town of Bienville, Alabama, where ladies always wear pearls, nothing says hospitality like sweet tea and pimento cheese sandwiches, and competing in the annual Magnolia Maid Pageant is every girl’s dream.
But Jane is what you might call an anti-belle, more fishnets and tattoos than sugar and spice. The last thing on her mind is joining the Magnolia Maid brigade and parading around town in a dress so big she can’t fit through a door. So when she finds herself up to her ears in ruffles and etiquette lessons, she’s got one mission: ESCAPE.
What’s a hipster to do? Will Jane survive Bienville boot camp intact or will they—gasp!—make a Southern belle out of her yet?
Book Review Excerpts
“In this unique romp, first-time author Rumley…works in nice points about shaking up the status quo while keeping things light and bright.” –Booklist
“This fun and fast-paced book reads like a Reese Witherspoon movie, complete with Southern drawl, angst-filled romance, and happy ending.” –VOYA
“Briskly sending up fraying Southern social traditions, this hilarious debut celebrates one value that’s universal: true friendship.” – Kirkus
“I love the humor, the friendship, and the touch of romance.” — Blogger YABOOKNERD
“Crickett Rumley nails this hilarious tale of debutante excess, teenage duress and what it means to be a true Southern belle.” — Sherri L. Smith, author, Flygirl.
Read more book reviews for Never Sit Down in a Hoop Skirt and Other Things I Learned in Southern Belle Hell HERE.